Discipline

It's been more than a year since I've written anything?!
Well life at home in the "slow lane" is rather busy and I don't often get time to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes.

Lately, I've been thinking about discipline. I don't seem to have much in the way of self discipline and I struggle to find ways to get myself to stick to the promises I make inside my head. It's also something all parents think about daily. How to discipline (that is teach discipline) effectively. Most days it doesn't seem to make a difference whether I stick to my original "no" or give in when I just can't listen to any more whining.

I keep seeing other people doing things like adopting an exercise routine, eating healthy, getting out with friends on a regular basis and wondering how they stick to their commitments. What is it like to feel good about everything you've done that day?

So how does discipline work? What do we need to do to make ourselves keep those promises to get exercise, avoid junk food, etc.?

It is so much easier for me to fulfill a commitment I've made to someone else. I wonder about finding ways to do that with the side benefit of self-fulfillment.

Summer

I know I don't sound original when I say "where has the summer gone"? When you've got 3 kids to keep busy, it goes like lighting! I have yet to figure out a way to slow it down. Each weekend is full of activities - barbecues, beach time, soccer games, etc. We don't want to let a weekend go by without making the most of the warm days. During the week there are lots of errands, chores and more time at the beach. I really shouldn't complain. We live in a beautiful place in a beautiful province! We are so lucky to have beaches and picnic spots all over the place. If I look at the summer in review - even though it's not over - it's amazing all the things we've done! Pretty soon we'll be following the daily routine and wishing we had more "lazy days of summer". We've definitely made the most of it. Even the rainy days were fun in retrospect. Before we know it Christmas will be here, then March break, then another summer.

Scheduling

Everything about life seems to involve scheduling in one way, shape or form. How we schedule determines how our day goes. If we mess it up, bad day. If we somehow manage to factor in every contingency, perfect day. However, most of the time, we make several mistakes and end up with a normal day.
For some reason lately I've been striving for perfection and forgetting that it's unattainable. The baby may or may not nap at exactly the same time as she did the day before. Kenneth may or may not get dressed when asked and may fall asleep in the car on the way to or from home resulting in a much later bedtime. The pressure to get the kids and I onto some kind of schedule is quite intense. I'm not even sure why. It seems that it's a cultural obsession rather than just an individual one.
Any advice column written for parents will mention scheduling. If your baby doesn't sleep through the night (which is normal by-the-way) or your toddler fights to go to bed or your teen sleeps til noon, it's all about the schedule. With such an emphasis on scheduling, why isn't there a formula that we can use? Yes, we're all different, but surely we can just plug in the numbers...
So what do we do when the baby needs a nap and the other kids need to go out and we just need an hour to get housework done? or one kid gets up at 7 and the other at noon? Now that summer's here can we just forget about the schedule and live moment to moment? I sure hope so 'cause I'm not any closer to figuring out the perfect schedule than I was yesterday.

Sharing

I've learned a lot about sharing this week. My 3 year-old has a hard time sharing toys at playgroup. He wants toys that other kids have and doesn't want to give up what he's got. It is so much work to constantly ask him to share. At one point this week I was about to give up. I was tired - of hearing my own voice say the same thing repeatedly to deaf ears. I wanted to go home, stick my son in front of the TV and have a nap. But that wouldn't have been the right thing to do. So with some help from other moms, I stayed. Afterward we had lunch together and then things were going so well, I invited everyone back to my house! Well... all of a sudden we were back to the sharing battle. I was too tired of fighting to be creative and when everyone went home, I crashed!
It's such a struggle to figure out what's better - stay home and be peaceful, but isolated, or go out and teach my kids (with a lot of effort) how to interact with the world. I guess a little of both. I can't stay home all the time and I can't go out all the time. It's always better to have help so weekends are a good time to go out.
This weekend we went to the Max & Ruby show at Saint John High school. I was quite disappointed with the show. Not at all worth the money. On the way home I found 2 suckers in my purse leftover from a restaurant outing and gave them to my son and his friend to keep them awake for the trip home. Of course, they both wanted the same colour, but the other boy graciously accept the other and we were on our way. At one point I looked back to check on the kids to see my son trying to get his toe into his baby sister's mouth. Once he removed it, I noticed the baby's mouth and tongue were blue! Before panicking I asked the nearest preschooler (my son) if he'd shared his sucker with her. He smiled and was quite proud of himself for sharing. hmmm... so now I have to remind myself to clearly define which items to share. This is getting complicated.

Sick day

Life is in ultra slow mode today. 2 sick kids and a sick husband. I seem to be fighting it off myself, which is good because we all know what happens when mommy gets sick...
It's a beautiful day today- the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the sheets are drying on the line, the dump trucks are moving rocks around in the gravel pit behind our house.
It takes days like this to enjoy the little things, though. If I really get bored there's always housework to do. Actually, there's a heck of a lot to do, but I'm just not in the mood. If it was a little warmer, I'd go to the beach. Maybe I'll go anyway. It wouldn't really take much to get out of the house, besides motivation. Right now with everyone quiet, seems like a good time to go sit out on the deck.

The Ordeal

This is my first blog, ever. I've called it Life in the Slow Lane because that where I'm supposed to be right now - taking a break from the world of IT to stay home - but life is anything but slow with 3 kids!

Take last week for example.
I like to get out of the house at least once per day. Whether it's to a playgroup, a park or just a walk around the block. On this particular day, a walk seemed like a good idea. I decided to go to the corner store to pick up milk, etc. My 3 year-old wanted to take his motorized truck, which was great because it meant I wouldn't have to "drag" him - the store is a 15 minute walk. However, we made it to the end of the street when the batteries seemed to be dying. So we decided to go back home to get the wagon. Meanwhile, my 6 month-old baby was quite content in the stroller.
Once home, I noticed the bike trailer and thought that I could strap both kids into it and be on my way. All I had to do was remove it from my bike and attach the stroller handle. I didn't want to ride my bike because I don't have a helmet for the baby and the bike hasn't been tuned up this year. After a fight, I got the handle attached then pick up the bike, which had been knocked over some previous month and left on the floor. Darn! The trailer hitch is lodged between the bike wheel and the kick stand. Without another pair of hands, I can't get it out.
Ok. Well... we'll try the wagon. Maybe I can prop up the baby on my son's lap. Looks too precarious - she can sit up on her own, but could easily fall forward when we go over a bump.
The last straw - I'll try the stroller.
Now I wasn't timing myself, but it sure seemed like getting out of the driveway was taking forever! Of course, the car was sitting in the driveway, but I was determined to walk.
I squeezed my little boy into the back of the stroller. He was now getting tired and didn't want to walk, but was willing to have his sister in his lap. The baby was getting fussy, too. And we were on our way...
At the first hill, I was pushing the stroller and carrying the baby. By the time we were at the store, the baby was crying and I was realizing (finally) that I should've stayed closer to home.
We got through the store without incident and then I faced getting us back home. By now I was tempted to call my husband and ask him to pick us up, but I'm really stubborn... so I found a step and nursed the baby while trying to remain calm. My son was happy with his bubblegum so we took a time-out until everyone seemed happy again.
The walk back home was hurried as I verbally soothed the crying baby and the little boy sitting with the crying baby.
When we finally arrived and got in the door. I explained to my son that this was an "ordeal" so that if he ever heard that word again, he'd know what it meant. The rest of the day was spent taking deep breaths.

That afternoon made my days as a project manager seem like an afternoon nap. This is Life in the Slow Lane.